A Review of 'All The Men I Met But Never Dated': A slight anatomy of a strained relationship
Two men have to come to terms with the confusion in their romance.
‘All The Men I Met But Never Dated’: A slight anatomy of a strained relationship
Cast: Ahmed Rakan Shihab Eldin, Jared P. Smith, Samiya Khan
Critic’s Rating: 2.5 Stars out of 5
Director: Muneeb Hassan
Duration: 11 minutes
Genre: Short, Drama, Romance
Language: English, Hindi/Urdu (with subtites)
Release: 2024
What’s it about?
Two men have to come to terms with the confusion in their romance.
Review:
Here is a Short that attempts to address the conflict of cultures where being gay is concerned, but doesn’t entirely succeed as a piece of drama. Can one be content with hiding one’s sexual orientation to align with the traditional expectations of one’s ethnicity or will love conquer all? That appears to be the premise of the film as it studies the blooming relationship between two men. But though the dialogue between them is occasionally surprising and effective and the performances are sincere, the concluding moment of truth is not altogether satisfying.
Ali (Ahmed Rakan Shihab Eldin), a man presumably of South Asian descent catches the eye of Oliver (Jared P. Smith) at the gym. Though it is unclear that the attraction is mutual, the two start texting each other and spending time together. But while Oliver tries to express his affection through small innocent gestures, Ali holds back and is awkward in their interaction. It is also clear that he is generally inclined to put family first, turning down Oliver’s invitations to hang out. However, Ali is drawn in some way to the attractive young man and one evening finds himself staying out late at a party that the two of them are attending.
Oliver is put off by Ali’s apparent inability to be informal or emotionally expressive. Ali’s reluctance to even join him in grooving to the music at the party puzzles him. Olivier feels neglected and suspicious that Ali is in fact in love with someone else. This leads to a gentle confrontation where the two men come clean about their thoughts and feelings for one another. The conversation bears some interesting revelations, especially on the part of Ali. The contrast in the two men’s cultural backgrounds causes them to view "the closet" very differently. And disrupting familial order over a perceivably taboo affair presents quite a dilemma.
While there is something simple and sweet in the way that this film’s narrative unfolds, there are not enough real surprises or compelling insights. We all know that gay relationships in most Asian communities are frowned upon, causing guilt, shame and denial for those involved. Another aspect of relationships that this film touches on all too inadequately is whether sexuality alone need determine one’s sense of identity and purpose. Is it fair to be “someone’s secret” or to part ways over the need for honesty? More issues, instances and characters are sorely lacking, leaving the audience wondering what might have been. But regardless of his paucity of romance, one can tell from the culminating scene that Ali has... got the moves.
